Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
