you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
