next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She announced her abortion via fbk
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
