doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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