I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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