I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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