she was so not down for the gang bang
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
