Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
