I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
