ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
