Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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