That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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