I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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