So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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