You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
