I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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