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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Not worth it.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.

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• (564): View more from Washington

  Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise

  (1-571): View more from Virginia

  GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT

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