Well apparently he's into motor boating.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK