Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.