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• (816): View more from Missouri

  dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life

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• (661): View more from California

  the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

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• (310): View more from California

  OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary

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