So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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