Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
