Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
