let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize