I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
