so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
