those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
