I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
