I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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