dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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