The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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