You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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