You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
