i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
