dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
