how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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