Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
