he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
