I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
