I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
