you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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