If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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