seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
