At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
