in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
