we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
