She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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