When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
