I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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