we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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