why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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