I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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