i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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