I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
