first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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