Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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