I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize