Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
This girl is more easily done than said...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
