I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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