that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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