ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
