Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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