Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
