I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
