I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just pee around me
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
