WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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