There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
