the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Panties = found
Randomize
